Hi,sorry Ive not been around much, but Ive been in hospital.
I was wondering if some one might be able to help please. Ive just (this week) been told I have Sinus bradycardia, and that last week I had a little heart attack and maybe two warnings. The tests are as you can imagin on going right now, and Im ok with that.
The symptoms are difficult to say the least(turned my life upside down)
The only time Im ok is when I wake up in a morning befor i move, lol....
the rest of the time I have cronic fatigue, acute dizyness, difficulty in breathing, tightness in my throat, confusion, swelling of my legs and weight gain (half a stone in a week, and im not even too much right now)...caughing, cant lie flat in bed anymore, need I go on. You have probley heard all this befor.
A little over a month ago, I was training for 90mins aday high impact cardio, weight training half an hour a day, hill walking and running, I dont smoke, I eat verry well. Then I got that viral infection, it made me so poorly,which was so bad itf affected has damaged my heart.
The thing is, I dont think Im handeling it all too well. One moment Im ok I think, then I feel "whats the point in anythnig" then I just cry, i keep crying lots of the time, Im worried about my husband and our home family ect, Im 43, not really that old, its just blown me away.
I dont know what to do.
Hugs
melody
RE: I just cant cope
Hi Melody
I am so sorry to hear, you have been so poorly. It sounds just awful.
My thoughts and prayers are with you
[sm=hug.gif] [sm=1kis.gif] [sm=hug.gif]
RE: I just cant cope
Oh Melody, bless your heart love. The days are dark now, but you will move into the light. You will regain your strength. You will feel yourself again. I was just reading your beautiful signature - hold onto that. Gratitude too is a powerful force for healing. Try to find one thing a day to be grateful for and hold onto that, turn away from the fear and the contemplation of gloom. A few months ago, we had a lovely discussion about gratiude which you might like to read:
http://www.healthypages.net/forum/tm.asp?m=16345
With love and hugs,
Judy
RE: I just cant cope
Hi Melody
So sorry to hear about your illness. I've just done a search on Google and there's quite a lot of info, so you may want to read up more about the condition. Do the doctors know what's caused it?
Please just take things one day at a time. My thoughts are with you.
[sm=hug.gif]
Lesley
RE: I just cant cope
Hi there and thank you for your replys,
Lynda, thats so sweet of you, thanks hun.
Judy, thank you too, but you missunderstood me, I dont feel sorry for myself at all,I have much to be thank full of, every second, Im concerned about my husband(he's disabled) and his mum, she's 745 and not too good at all really.
Im very worried about ourmy cats, what will happen to them, if somthing happens to me, my husband couldnt take of them.
As for me, Death is a diffrent journy, of that , Im not afraid.
Lesley, it was caused by the viral infection, just goes to show, even if your helthy and do the right thing, Samsara can kick your ass when it wonts, lol....
Hugs
melody
RE: I just cant cope
Hi Melody
The thing is, I dont think Im handeling it all too well. One moment Im ok I think, then I feel "whats the point in anythnig" then I just cry, i keep crying lots of the time
I think thats called going into shock honey[sm=hug.gif] Sounds to me as if you are coping the only way your body will allow you at the moment...take it from someone who's been there...and even now still cries (alot)
It's the lack of 'knowing' thats difficult to deal with, once all the tests are out of the way I am sure you will be able to cope with it all differently. This is a time to put your needs first...you need time to accept and heal yourself from within, and you cannot do that properly if you are worrying about others so much....easier said than done...I know, but possible!
luv & peace
stormdeva x
RE: I just cant cope
Hi Melody,
Sorry to hear about your illness. Keep your chin up and take some mental health time. I truly believe these things happen to test us and your body obviously needs a good rest.
Try to stay positive and Keep smiling.
Lots of love and fairydust
Jodie
[sm=sandrine.gif]
RE: I just cant cope
Hi Melody,
What a stressful time you must be going through my love. Crying is very beneficial for you as it releases a lot of negative energy/chemicals that are better out of your body than in. I am a great believer in the healing power of tears.
You have been incredibly strong in spite of your illness and thinking of others a lot so take some time out and let your HP family support you for as long as you need it. I am sending Reiki energy and lots of love to you and your situation and I hope you will feel better in yourself soon,
Love and light
reikiangel
xxx
RE: I just cant cope
[sm=grouphug.gif]:(:([sm=grouphug.gif]
its a rough road your travelling, and your poor body
is reacting the only way it know how
Listen to it, take time out for you!!!!
Sending reiki healing, huge reiki hugs
and ask that angels walk with you!!
DC
RE: I just cant cope
Hi Melody ,
i am so sorry to hear of your health and worries . You come across so strong at this low point in your life and i am sure that strength will carry you on and through this.
Sending lots of Reiki energy to you and you loved ones at this time
Love and Light
Corum
RE: I just cant cope
Hi guys.
Thank you for your thoughts and messages, its good to know there are others that understand and care. I belive you are all right, Im not normally silly, or really over emotional, it is a shock, and I will most probley be better when i know for definate whats the course of action and out come.
useually, Im the one who's ok, I dont get ill, I help look after others ect. I dont even get things like colds n stuff, thats always been somthing that happens to others.
I think I need to emply more fight, less flight, lol....
I had a *real* talk to my hubby last night, for the first time since the diagnosis, it was a little hard, (my wishes , will ect, belongings, care of the kitty cats, how he feels, how i feel) ohh... big sigh.
I feel much better about it now, i know that might sound silly, but its things i needed to be sorted out, I needed to sort out.
Stormdeva, if I may ask, would you mind shareing with me your story so I might better understand please, if you dont feel comfortable, its ok.
Again, thank you all.
Hugs
Melody
RE: I just cant cope
Hi Melody
My story...
http://www.healthypages.net/forum/tm.asp?m=32969
luv & peace
stormdeva x
RE: I just cant cope
Dear Melody,
What a wonderful example of strength and courage you are. I am rocked back with your wonderful attitude and how you put others before yourself.
After reading your posts, you make me feel very humble.
If there is anything we can do on HP, please let us know.
with much love to you and your hubby and you cats.
Gillyxxxx
RE: I just cant cope
Hi Melody,
Sorry to hear that you are having such problems. As Stormdeva has said, you sound like being in shock. I think it is high time for you to think about taking care of YOU for a change.
Maybe you would like to consider getting some complementary therapies to support you through this? My first idea would be Chinese herbs, Shiatsu or acupuncture, but I am very biased as I am a big believer in Chinese medicine, of course alongside any Western treatment you are having.
Lots of love and healing to you,
Artemis
RE: I just cant cope
Hi Melody
I am really sorry to hear of your problems, but I admire your strength and determination in getting through this.
When you have others to worry about it can all get out of control, my mum went through an illness this year and we were really worried about her as my dad has alzhiemers and needs a lot of care, she was more worried about him than herself! which is typical, but like you she came round and now is as fit as a fiddle.
I send you loads of love and tuns of reiki and hope you are feeling much better soon.
With love
Maria