By the way I'm very sorry about your husband. I fervently hope mine will last.
No I'm not angry but the thing is, I can only do so much. Nagging does not work, on the contrary. He has a mind of his own! By the way, his ideal death is to be killed on his bike .... whether that will be drunk or not we shall see.
Oh dear!! My best friend's husband was killed on a bike -he was squashed by a lorry when turning left. The lorry driver was in shock and needed long term help, my best friend and her family had to suffer through the identification of the body, the trauma of the news reporters and local papers plastering the story all over the pages, the kids being harassed at school and then the inquest...
By the way I'm very sorry about your husband. I fervently hope mine will last.
By the time he died he was my ex husband, and had become cut off from his mother and our son.....not my doing I hasten to add but our son's decision. He had also lost his job. One of the saddest things was going through his papers after his death and seeing stuff he had written for Alpha - a local alcohol support group. He knew his drinking was killing him - but he couldn't stop....
No I'm not angry but the thing is, I can only do so much. Nagging does not work, on the contrary. He has a mind of his own! By the way, his ideal death is to be killed on his bike .... whether that will be drunk or not we shall see.
Nagging never works. Frankly he won't really start to cut down/out until he sees a valid reason to do so. And logic does no good at all
My daughter used to nag me, so instead of eating and drinking openly I started to hide to avoid the arguments. It was hard for me as I was brought up in a pub where drinking was the norm and encouraged.
By the way, his ideal death is to be killed on his bike
Oh dear!! My best friend's husband was killed on a bike -he was squashed by a lorry when turning left.
On that subject I will start a new thread: "If given the choice - are we given the choice? - how do you want to die?" See 'General Health Discussions'.
My daughter used to nag me, so instead of eating and drinking openly I started to hide to avoid the arguments. It was hard for me as I was brought up in a pub where drinking was the norm and encouraged.
I did the classic thing of making excuses for him. He was 'just' a heavy drinker. but I hated going out with him because i got so embarrassed about his behaviour when he had had a drink. The penny didn't finally drop that he was a full blown addict until I stopped drinking my favoured tipple at the time (gin) which he disliked........and I realised the bottle was still getting emptied. Then to my horror I discovered the classic addict sign.....a hidden stash of empty bottles.
Nagging and logic don't work. The addict has to accept they have a problem.....and sadly that sometimes mean they have to hit rock bottom . Until they accept they have a problem all you can do is not become complicit in their behaviour. And it is all too easy to do that....
I am glad you managed to get control of your issue 🙂
My husband drinks alcohol regularly, and has now been under the weather for more than 5 weeks. I suspect his immune system in not in a good state. He is not an alcoholic I'm glad to say, but still, a whiskey of an evening, a few pints in the pub before lunch, all add up.
I vaguely remember reading somewhere that, to counteract the effects of alcohol (and too much coffee as well) you can take certain vitamins and minerals. Vitamin A? Zinc? What else can I offer him (as he is resistant to the idea of drinking less ...)?:rolleyes:
What about reducing the intake of alcohol. Perhaps at lunch getting into the habit of going for a walk instead of going to the pub. Yes alcohol drains all the vitamin B1 out of your body so he needs to take a good multi-vitamin and mineral supplement, and a strong vitamin B1, or B complex.
I wrote this quite a while ago. When my husband goes for a walk it is usually to the pub! However, he is not under the weather anymore and regularly goes for a 70-80 mile cycle ride. He eats well, that helps I suppose.
Nagging never works. But what does? It's a horrible situation to be in. When you see someone you love just killing himself and you have nothing to do.
I'm glad his drinking is not nearly as serious as it seems to have come out. None of us do exactly what we're supposed to do, or very few! Not me anyway.
""Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants." says Michael Pollan, in 'In Defense of Food'. It's the second part I have trouble with .....
Situations like this are tough, sometimes it takes a sudden realisation or wake-up call to snap someone out of a destructive path. Whether that's by your own doing or his is another story..
Best of luck