starting your life over. Is it possible?

RE: starting your life over. Is it possible?

Hi Amethyst, .....I can only tell you what I did....I think I took changing my life in stages or steps....Like an alcoholic , 12 steps , I think. Sorry if I seem a bit vague but It's not something I speak of very often .

I won't go through all of my stages , becauseIt didn't happen over-night..........I'll tell you the first couple If you Would like me to.

I don't mind sharing on this forum......just let me know if you want more.

Love and Blessings

Oakapple

RE: starting your life over. Is it possible?

hi
i think it is possible to start your life over, well at least to try. 15 yrs ago i was in an impossible relationship and feeling very low, i then decided that life had to change, i am now persuing a career that i never thought was possible and a patner that is so supportive such a soulmate that i wake up every morning thinking "thankyou who ever is watching over me to give me the life i am living"
in answer to the question 'yes i think it is possible to start your life over just believe in yourself and what you want'

RE: starting your life over. Is it possible?

Hi,

I'm currently reading 'The Power of Now' by Eckhart Tolle. It isn't 'advertised' as being a book about healing, but in reading it, I've been thinking how apt it is for MANY kinds of psychological healing (and personal growth of course).

I really can't convey this in a post. Anyone interested, I'd advise to buy the book. You could order it right now on amazon maybe.

So again, you can't really convey the depth of this in a post; but really there is no past (it does not exist as a reality now) and there is no future (the future is not real now). All there is is the Now. The book helps to live in the Now. Which is useful as Now is all there is! The past once was Now, but it isn't real any longer.

The 'secret' Tolle conveys is that what he calls the ego-mind lives always in the past, and also in anticipation of the future. Both are illusions and it's necessary to escape from dwelling in either. The book is an aid to doing this. What a shame that Now is all there ever is, yet we rarely live fuly in it, or experience it!

So Tolle teaches that the part of us that lives in past & future is a sick and unreal self; if we learn to live in NOW, that is a wonderful and new self. So it seems to me that anyone who can follow this book and live as much as possible in the present moment will become a different person and begin to have a different life.

Hope that helps?

Venetian

RE: starting your life over. Is it possible?

I have also read 'The Power of Now' and agree it is worth the read;)

I also believe and HAVE started life anew! In fact the further down the road I get, the more often I renew myself LOL!! I suppose if we lived in the present every momentwe would be renewed on a continual basis:)

When I was in my 'bad place' I was somehow directed to the Conversation with God books and a lot of the ideas in there really helped pull me out of the darkness.
The main things I took from this was creating the highest vision of myself and what represented me right now. I would write down what my highest vision was (and it changes regularly as I grow!) even if it was just I AM FORGIVENESS, or I AM HAPPY etc etc.I would then list ways of achieveing these things e.g letting go of my anger or paranoia, or doing something each day that makes me feel happy.
Whenever I felt myself slipping back into my old ways of thinking, feeling angry or hurt or victimisedetc, I would take a few deep breaths, remind myself of my 'highest vision' and realise that these thoughts do NOT represent the <me I wished to be>any longer.

It does take a while to 're-programme' yourself, as your ego mind has had the unrestricted run over your thoughts until now. At first the Ego mind will diligently try and 'hold on' to its illusions and the drama until it realises it can work in balance with the 'higher' you 🙂 Whilst making this transition it is helpful to read, watch and be around uplifting and positive material and people to keep the momentum going.

Something I like to remember is 'You CANNOT change the past, You are NOT in control of the future.........the ONLY time you have to work with is THE PRESENT. It is a GIFT, that is why it is called the PRESENT!!!':D

RE: starting your life over. Is it possible?

Yes please, Oakapple, I would like to hear about the first two steps, to see if it is something I think could help me.

I have the Power of Now, and have read it twice. I *understand* most of what is written, but I'm not sure I find it easy to live it. I fully appreciate that this is one of the most important things to do in order not to let the past come with you.

ORIGINAL: epona~spirit

The main things I took from this was creating the highest vision of myself and what represented me right now. I would write down what my highest vision was (and it changes regularly as I grow!) even if it was just I AM FORGIVENESS, or I AM HAPPY etc etc.I would then list ways of achieveing these things e.g letting go of my anger or paranoia, or doing something each day that makes me feel happy.

It does take a while to 're-programme' yourself, as your ego mind has had the unrestricted run over your thoughts until now. At first the Ego mind will diligently try and 'hold on' to its illusions and the drama until it realises it can work in balance with the 'higher' you 🙂 Whilst making this transition it is helpful to read, watch and be around uplifting and positive material and people to keep the momentum going.

This is good advice, thanks. Can you explain to me how you 'let go' of your anger or paranoia please?

Thanks for all the responses; they are useful and uplifting.

Amethyst x

RE: starting your life over. Is it possible?

Hi Amethyst,

I have read through this thread with great interest, and you havehad great advice.

I too have read The Power Of Now twice, what a wonderful book, and the principles are so simple. Trying to live your life by them does take some doing, even to live in the 'now' for short periods of time I find quite hard, as my mind does have a tendancy to wander!:)

You asked Epona~spirit about how to let go of anger or paranoia, and I don't really have a quick fix answer. Personally, in the past when I have read in books about letting go of this or that, I always imagined that the writer just instantly 'let go' of say anger, and poof.......it was gone! I couldn't do that, and I suspect neither could a lot of people.

Life experience has taught me that it can be done, but it takes work, doesn't happen instantly, but is a slow process. I found it like grief......it got easier to cope with over time. My anger lessened with time, and I eventually managed to look at things differently. For me, I had to cool down first, then look at what made me angry and really examine why I felt like I did, take responsibility for my feelings and try to move on from there. I never found it an easy road to take, and some of the things I had to look at were uncomfortable, some things about myself, and others. I think that if you approach things with real honesty about yourself and others, you will make good headway.

It has taken me a long time to realise that there are some things in life that you can never change, situations, people etc, but you can change how you view them.

I think that you can start your life anew every single day, and that is such a wonderful thing to hold dear. My Mum used to say to me when I was little and I had a bad day, "nevermind, tomorrow is a new day", and I always remember that. You know what? Tomorrow is usually better after a bad day!:)

I think that whenever we strive for change, we sometimes falter along the way, and don't always feel that things are going well. But I think if you acknowledge that, and think, tomorrow is a new day, new start, slowly but surely the change you want will happen.

Just my thoughts! Nothing worthwhile is attained easily. I think you will make it though! x

With love
Jacquie

RE: starting your life over. Is it possible?

Hi Amethyst,
My first step was to walk away........from friends , family , all the Influences that were causing me harm . I concentrated on repairing myself . I turned my back on my past. Whilst I dealt with my problems

I then sought help. I moved to Portsmouth and went into a hostel . They helped me deal with my Immediate problems ; Drink , Drugs ,Anger , Self Pity. .......I underwent a six week residential programme.......That was hard work.......but rewarding , because I didn't realise how many problems I had .

I then formulated a plan. I looked at where I was and then at where I wanted to be in the future. It was at this point I met my wife. So we halved the problems...........she has been my rock.......... and I can't thank her enough .

Hope this helps Amethyst Good luck

God Bless

RE: starting your life over. Is it possible?

Yes I believe it is possible to start your life over. Without going in to too much detail I had a rough childhood and ran away from home at 14 years old. I see that as the first time I began my life again, I left some nasty things behind and gave myself a chance for the future. The second time I was 23 years old and had a nervous breakdown and was missing for a few months. When I returned home I went into a hostel for pregnant women and slowly climbed my way up the ladder again. That was my second chance at life. Hopefully there won't be a third time!
xxx

RE: starting your life over. Is it possible?

Can you explain to me how you 'let go' of your anger or paranoia please?

Well it can take some practice to start with, especially when anger was the first emotion I used to feel [&o]
To start with I made a conscious decision that I desired to change my behaviours, this has to happen from the inside and then shows on the outside 🙂 The biggest thing to help me was to visualise me being calm and peaceful in any situation - this was my 'goal'. If throughout the day I caught myself feeling irritated, angry etc, then I would be quite clear that this behaviour did NOT represent me anymore. Just recognising this made me feel better at times because it showed me I had a choice! Where possible I would try and remove myself from the 'angry' situation - even if that meant sitting on the loo for 5 mins LOL! I would first accept that I felt angry, I would then just 'watch' the anger - I wouldnt try and feed it with more negative thoughts, I would just be conscious of it. Then I would breathe deeply and imagine on every outward breath the anger floating away and I would watch it dissapear into the distance. Then I could return with a feeling of calm.
As time has gone on, I have learnt other techniques too. I always say 'Namaste' silently to everyone I meet. This means "The spirit within me salutes the spirit within you". I found this makes me aware that everyone has a higher consciousness but they may not always be acting from it. Therefore I can forgive any negative comments they may say without me taking them personally and feeling hurt or angry myself.

I pulled an Angel Card this morning - its words are very relevant I think so I will put it here:

Forgiveness
Card Meaning: Let go of anger and resentment, and feel yourself healed. You don't need to forgive the action, just the person-so that you can be at peace.

By drawing this card, your angels guide you to release anger and irritation. They realize that you may be perfectly justified in feeling angry. Yet, they ask you to look at the high price you pay for being the vessel of anger.

Forgiveness does not mean, "What you did is okay to me." It simply means, "I am no longer willing to carry around pain in response to your actions." When we hold unforgiveness in our hearts, we only punish ourselves, after all. Your angels will help you release unforgiveness if you will just ask for their assistance.

The last paragraph is so important to me, I dont have to be a doormat and let people walk over me, but I am also not willing to carry their baggage around in the form of anger or hurt.

I hope this helps, it is difficult to describe how to let go really, it is just a conscious decision just to do it. It can be hard at first but it does get easier, and dont beat yourself up if you have the odd explosion! Just let go when you can and see what you can learn from the expereince - then it becomes a positive thing.
(((HUGS)))

RE: starting your life over. Is it possible?

These replies are all excellent. Thank you so much for taking the time to share your suggestions and experiences.
I am going to save some of this info and see how I can utilise it myself. I feel very inspired; like the dull thud of an 'Aha!' moment is on the horizon 😀

Thanks again,
Amethyst x