Hi Rosie
I wasn't saying leave him be ... I am saying you shouldn't get involved. No point in picking an apple if it ain't ripe ... it is going to taste bitter.
Yes Sue is right a wake up call may be the light needed to ripen the fruit as her case seems to be ... but then it may not.
You say your piece and leave it to develop as it may ... it has to be unconditional ... otherwise you are still in the mind loop game.
xoxo
J!M
(what am I doing this far from the "footie thread"!! **smile** i might drown!!!!)
Thank you all for your replies and kind words - you've certainly given me food for thought. I just wanted to say that :
1. I used to work with soemone who was moody. Her moods changed throughout the day and it was literally ( as Rosie said) like walking on eggshells and it was sheer hell. I hated going in every day. My OH isn't like this. He gets these "moods" maybe every few months or so (which tend to co-incide at a bad times for me as well - usually when I'm busy, have other problems to sort out, am feeling unwell etc).
2. Other guys I've been out with in the past have been similar (ish) - which when I read the book made me think that it is perhaps a "male" thing.:rolleyes:
3. As you know I've had depression in the past (due to miscarriages etc) and he was there for me. I know other couples in this situation where the non-depressed partner has left the depressed one and have basically left them to fend for themselves - as it's very hard being with someone who is negative, down etc. I must have made his life hard with the crying and so on - yet he never complained and "in his own way" tried to help me. I don't have depression now but I guess that's besides the point. Whilst i had depression I had a boss who was compounding an intolearble problem by making my life hell - despite the fact that i always did a good job, was never off, was reliable - they sensed that I had a problem and went for the kill (so to speak). My OH stuck up for me at this point and it was the first time in my entire life that anyone had ever stuck up for me.
Although I'm not happy with his behaviour recently I was interested to hear if other men are similar ( I know all men aren't the same just as all women aren't the same) or have similar feelings ?? I will speak to him about this (when he's better) and perhaps we can move forward. I think men do need this space sometimes ( as Badger mentioned) but I don't want my OH to take anything out on me if it's not my fault.
Badger - I'd love to come to Cork and smile in the rain !!:D