Book on NLP... I'm already stuck!!

RE: Book on NLP... I'm already stuck!!

Tigerlily

well that is a reall challenge then, eh? I have to say that I have studied some NLP and I tend to use some of it in my life coaching with great results. However, faced with the problem/question you are faced with I am baffled to. I have to confess that having thought about it a while before posting this comment to what you said, I too cannot come up with anything that is "really attractive and compelling to you. Think of something that isn't fun to do in itself, but whose rewards are so great that you really want to do it."

My approach to things, I suspect a bit like you, is that either something is compelling and attractive and therefore I take great pleasure in doing it ... or it isn't and therefore I would tend not to do it or to delegate it. Personally if something is not fun to do it... then why do it? For the huge rewards? Not me mate! Which is possibly the same way you are thinking. So... I am afraid that I too cannot understand what they mean here.

I thought... could it be a tax return. That is certainly not fun to do but on the other hand there is no rewards at the end. Tax returns may be compelling in that we all need to do it... but it is certainly not attractive to do at all.

I thought could it be some activities to do with our professional or private/family life? But I could not come up with any example of that either. I don't find the admin work of my job fun at all but there is no great rewards at the end whether I do it or not! So, Tigerlily... sorry but I am at a loss as well. But I would be very interested to see if anyone has an exp;anation about this.

RE: Book on NLP... I'm already stuck!!

How about going to the gym!!! I love it personally but some people (like my dad) really hate it but go anyway cause when they come out they feel better for it!
Tx

RE: Book on NLP... I'm already stuck!!

Or.people who give up smoking or drinking. Its hard because you want to do it but getting there is no fun at all. But you keep at it (hopefully) because you know that the benefits are too great!
Tx

RE: Book on NLP... I'm already stuck!!

Im on a roll now!![sm=rollaugh.gif]
How about studying?
Im at uni, have a house,family etc and it is really hard to fit everything in at times. Ive had to give up work because I was getting stressed and so now we are skint.
BUT although it is a struggle, I am sticking with it because at the end of my degree I will be a qualified aromatherapist.
Tx

RE: Book on NLP... I'm already stuck!!

Trinityx

uhmm... yes your mind is running wild but... I am not convinced.

"How about going to the gym!!! I love it personally but some people (like my dad) really hate it but go anyway cause when they come out they feel better for it!"
Well either your dad does love going to the gym... really; or he is masochist!

"Or.people who give up smoking or drinking. Its hard because you want to do it but getting there is no fun at all. But you keep at it (hopefully) because you know that the benefits are too great!"
Possible, possible.

"How about studying? Im at uni, have a house, family etc and it is really hard to fit everything in at times. I've had to give up work because I was getting stressed and so now we are skint. BUT although it is a struggle, I am sticking with it because at the end of my degree I will be a qualified aromatherapist."
Ah but you like studying and so this example does not fir the original descrption above.

Also one could argue, what is a "great" reward. It may be something different for evertone. I still think that the question, which strated this thread, is not clear at all.

RE: Book on NLP... I'm already stuck!!

Hi Alex
* REALLY my Dad HATES going to the gym-you dont know him (not that I know of!) so you'll have to take my word for this. He goes because he is fat and wants to loose weight.
*The giving up smoking you thought was 'possible' so I wont go into that one as Ive goto go to the gym myself soon!
*Studying-'Ah but you like studying...' Well yes and no! I like seeing my friends and learning new things.
But I hate to feel under pressure with the work load and and trying to balance spending time with my family and the stress that packing my job has brought me. So no, there are aspects of studying I dont like-I like the thought of the outcome of my degree.
It would be easier for me NOT to go to uni and get a crap job and bring in a wage.
Anyway, I thought they were good!
Tx

RE: Book on NLP... I'm already stuck!!

think of a task that is really attractive and compelling to you. Think of something that isn't fun to do in itself, but whose rewards are so great that you really want to do it".

The statement itself is a little odd. "attractive" and "not fun in itself" seem to imply two different things. If I were you Tigerlily I would concentrate on the second half of the statement and play down the first.
of course knowing what the goal of the exercise is might help you to focus in the right place - or does that defeat the object ?

I think studying is a good example Trinity.

in my own experience for an A&P qualiifcation

I am/was really sqeamish BUT i really wanted to get the massage qualification . I spent most of the lessons on the circulation on my hands and knees in the corridor trying not to faint . but i forced my self to learn all about the heart and the blood because the rewards were so great.

RE: Book on NLP... I'm already stuck!!

Janey[sm=1kis.gif]
I knew it made sense!!
Tx

RE: Book on NLP... I'm already stuck!!

I've enjoyed reading these replies!!

Trinity, I can see where you're coming from. Studying is obviously a good example for you. It has to be one particular task though. Attractive and compelling. I study history in my spare time because it's attractive and compelling.... and because it's fun, too. Going to the gym is a very good example, because people get a 'buzz' after doing vigorous exercise. Unfortunately, I don't find going to the gym attractive and compelling. Eek![&:]

Purpose, I guess we experience things in a similar way, you perfectly relate to what I'm saying. It is perhaps interesting to note that this comes from a chapter about motivation, which I have always had a problem with, usually due to fear. I now know than I'm motivated 'away' from things to avoid pain etc., but on the positive side I'm a problem solver. So perhaps the question is more pertinent for 'toward' motivated people: the goal-setters, they would find something attractive because of the reward.

I can see why people are driven to do certain things because of rewards, but I see that as being different from something which is attractive.

Janey, you said you 'forced yourself' to learn about things that made you feel squeamish. That's like being driven to your goal, rather than being attracted to it. It's important in the exercise to choose something that you would find attractive, because you later have to contast it with something that you don't care to do at all. You are probably a motivated 'toward' person. I never do anything I don't like that I don't have to do. No reward has ever been great enough for me.

Perhaps I'm being to picky with the wording. Perhaps I should just choose something which is attractive and compelling because the reward is that it's fun to do!!

RE: Book on NLP... I'm already stuck!!

Im sorry, I must be really stupid!
Dont really understand your disection of the wordings!
Sorry.
Tx

RE: Book on NLP... I'm already stuck!!

ok,,thought hard..and some of you might just take this the wrong way,,as i type im trying to find the words.
I have a severely disabled daughter....who is totally dependant on me, 6 yrs old, Cant talk, walk, sit up, feed herself, also has a tube in stomach (gastrostomy) to help with feeding via. Although can feed orally too.
Anyway, sometimes, just sometimes, i dont want to spend hour and a half feeding, sitting with her on my lap unable to do things, spend a while going through all the motions on why shes screaming, could it be pain, boredom, hungry, have wind, etc....drive hours to appointments, spend days finding money to fund things, deal with a behaviourial problem with a child that cant communicate, wonder what shes thinking. I stipulate just sometimes.....but my reward is her smile at the end of the day, or when i pick her up from school.

RE: Book on NLP... I'm already stuck!!

*Jane*

Thanks so much for sharing that. It really touched me and you were very brave to do that.

Now, having read your testimony and putting it in relationship to the original question that sterted this thread ... well that could make sense. But dare I say... it is almost an extrem,e situation. I am therefore surprised that it is a book on NLP as a possible question regarding a seemingly "common" situation.

RE: Book on NLP... I'm already stuck!!

I agree.....i'll have to go with the studying option

RE: Book on NLP... I'm already stuck!!

Jane, it was very touching what you wrote, the way you worded it. My aunt is mentally handicapped, now 45 years old, and my grandmother has always been her 24hr a day carer. She still has to wipe her bum for her, clear up her sick and bathe her and quite frankly, my nan is my hero, just as you are to your daughter. Actually, doing something to see a smile is rewarding, beyond a shadow of a doubt. I'll have a think about that...

Trinity, you are not stupid!!! It's me reading into things very deeply and pulling them apart.

I've still not managed to come up with the criteria requested, but I'm just going to do it my way. I'll never get on if I do what is literally asked.

This discussion is a lot more interesting than the original question... it's fascinating reading different interpretations.