Defy the Logic

i have put this here in science to see if it has any scientific base...

Defy the logic

When a cat is dropped, it always lands on its feet, and when toast is
dropped, it always lands buttered side down. Therefore, if a slice of toast
is strapped to a cat's back, buttered side up, and the animal is then
dropped, the two opposing forces will cause it to hover, spinning inches
above the ground. If enough toast-laden felines were used, they could form
the basis of a high-speed monorail system.

In the buttered toast case, it's the butter that causes it to land buttered
side down - it doesn't have to be toast, the theory works equally well with
Jacob's crackers. So to save money you just miss out the toast - and butter
the cats.

Also, should there be an imbalance between the effects of cat and butter,
there are other substances that have a stronger affinity for carpet.

Probability of carpet impact is determined by the following simple formula:

p = s * t(t) / t© , where p is the probability of carpet impact, s is the
"stain" value of the toast-covering substance - an indicator of the
effectiveness of the toast topping in permanently staining the carpet.
Chicken Tikka Masala, for example, has a very high s value, while the s
value of water is zero.t© and t(t) indicate the tone of the carpet and
topping - the value of p being strongly related to the relationship between
the colour of the carpet and topping, as even chicken tikka masala won't
cause a permanent and obvious stain if the carpet is the same colour.

So it is obvious that the probability of carpet impact is maximised if you
use chicken tikka masala and a white carpet - in fact this combination
gives a p value of one, which is the same as the probability of a cat
landing on its feet.

Therefore a cat with chicken tikka masala on its back will be certain to
hover in mid air, while there could be problems with buttered toast as
the toast may fall off the cat, causing a terrible monorail crash resulting
in nauseating images of members of the royal family visiting accident
victims in hospital, and politicians saying it wouldn't have happened if
their party was in power as there would have been more investment in
cat-toast glue research.

Therefore it is in the interests not only of public safety, but also public
sanity if the buttered toast on cats idea is scrapped, it should be replaced
by a monorail system powered by cats smeared with chicken tikka masala
floating above a rail made from white shag pile carpet.


Discuss!