When I split up with my ex boyfriend I moved my cat into a new home 3 years ago. He was never as totally content in this house but seemed OK. In the last year he became more and more distant and was obviously being fed by the neighbours. In the last 3 months he pretty much stopped coming home and when he did it was to spray in the kitchen.
I made the decision to return him to my ex's house last night and now feel devastated. It is made worse by my boyfriend pleading with me not to let him go and calling me selfish. I felt horrible now and had to share it with HP.
KW
RE: Said goodbye to cat
Sorry you're feeling sad -- here's a <hug> for you.
I am a bit confused -- is this right:
-- You've been split up with your boyfriend for 3 years,
-- Last night you returned the cat to him as the cat wasn't happy with you,
-- You feel bad because he called you selfish for splitting up with him 3 years ago?
Is that right?
I have suggestions in case you feel bad because of the cat and want him back -- If he is spraying, I'm assuming it's because he's not been neutered. Neutered males make much better pets than unneutered as they are more friendly, loving, and stick closer to home. UN males wander, fight, and impregnate leading to unwanted kittens. Also keeping cats indoors seems not popular in the UK, but it is so much safer for them (and the wildlife...)
Go get him back, get him "fixed" and try keeping him in -- bond with him again, through petting, grooming, and playing with him. I'm sure he'll respond.
Best wishes, AW
PS
If I've got it all wrong forgive me, I told you I was confused [&:]but wanted to make a stab at it.
RE: Said goodbye to cat
KW, it's perfectly understandable that you are upset if you're missing your cat.
Sometimes cats do just seem to go off and live with someone else - this is cat behaviour - and it's no reflection on the owner.
I don't understand how you could be considered selfish, as I understand your post, foracting in the best interests of the cat's health and welfare.
Holistic
RE: Said goodbye to cat
Thanks for the replies, I did have to smile at your interpretation American Woman. Sorry I may not have been clear because I was upset.
Exboyfriend is thrilled to bits that I've returned the cat and thinks I'm great. Current boyfriend thinks I'm selfish because seeing the cat spraying was upsetting me and he thinks I've just dumped the cat on someone else for nobody's benefit but my own.
Can't convince him otherwise at the mo.
KW
RE: Said goodbye to cat
Oops! My apologies, KW. It was my post I wanted to edit and I clicked the wrong button. I haven't touched yours, but the edit line appears automatically.
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Ah! Boyfriend/exboyfriend. I get it now! 😀
Can't convince him otherwise at the mo.
It sounds to me as if you boyfriend might be missing the cat more than he cares to let on? 😉
How is the cat getting on now he's back at the ex's?
Holistic