Lets give this a try - we'll make a virtual soap. I'll start things off, and you can feel free to add to the storyline etc. Its just a bit of fun, but try and take it seriously aswell. The soap is to be fun and bizarre things can happen, but it must also be approachable, so not too many UFO'S and the like.
So, lets go.
The story is set in the fictional area of Strawberry Hill Village. There is a church, a post office, as well as an empty shop next door to the post office. The nearest town is a 20 minute drive.
The residents:
The Cromwells at number one: Judith and her sister Edith are fanatic christians, and are always at the church, reading the bible, organising days out for the children and picnics. Edith works part time at the post office. However, they harbour a secret. They aren't really sisters. Judith and Edith are lesbians.
The Broons at number two: Theres gran broon, who is as fiesty at 70 as she was at 20. Never short of a funny one liner, and always getting into trouble and giving granpa broon a headache. She sees Edith and Judith as fuddy duddys. Their daughter Amanda lives with them, she is 34 and her husband, the local baker is 38. Richard, the baker, has a high cholestral problem. Richard has a daughter from a previous marriage, Collette is 19 and very blonde and beautiful.
The Warriors at number three: Is actually a student house. Its owned by one of the lads fathers who has just gone travelling, and the 3 boys who are 18, 25, and 31 live there for the cheap rent, getting the early bus to university.
Number four is currently for sale
The Ashmonds at number five: Live in a large property, with cobwebs and creaky floor boards. but thats how they like it, This weird family are similar to the Addams family, but not as far fetched.
there is a farm with 4 people living on it
and finally, The Harpers at number six: Business man Jack Harper comes here at the weekends with his mistress. Little do the other residents know, Jack is very rich and drawing up plans to take over Strawberry Hill Village to turn it into a health farm retreat and stables.
On a fine brisk Friday morning Gran Broon walked with her daughter Amanda to the local post office for the usual kind of supplies bread, milk, eggs that it supplied to the community. As they neared the little post office they noticed the door still had the ‘closed sign’ showing, no boards or produce outside and no lights on or signs of life.
They looked at each other as they neared the shop, Gran looked at her watch and noted the time, 08:12.
“That’s not like Stanley not to be open, he opens at 6 for the papers and stuff.”
“Yeah, have we got the time wrong Mum?” said Amanda.
“No, I’ve just checked and it’s gone 7 ,” said Gran.
The two ladies walked up to the post office window and peered in. There were the usual baskets of bread out and items in the open refrigerator but the post office counters were closed. Gran and Amanda had to really strain to see past all the shadows. Stanley 63, the Post Master, moved to nearby Apple Orchard 3 years ago after losing his wife. He felt the simple life and fresh air was going to be very healing for him especially as he had been recently diagnosed with depression.
Amelia went around to the side of the post office to the back entrance and something caught her eye in the lower garden connected to the property. She went to the rear and as she turned the corner to get better look that is when she screamed!!.............
There was Stanley in all his naked glory bouncing on his newly acquired trampoline!!!!!!.........................
Amelia, who had started the walk as Amanda, had screamed in rage.
Stanley had been the only person in the village who had passed the audition and appeared on Look Good Naked. His sob story about losing his wife had touched the heart of the nation and his new found confidence in his body had turned his life around.
However every single woman in the village had also auditioned and were extremely jealous of his new found pride in his belly and dangly bits. Amanda was furious that it was him, not her, who would be auditioning as Naturist masseur at the proposed new health farm that secretly everyone now knew about. And not only that but she had looked over his shoulder when he was on the internet at the library to see that he was planning to meet all the other devil-my-care HPers who didn't mind letting it all hang out in a naturist sauna (can't wait for the photos), but not that one up in Doncaster because it's too Northern and cold and nobodies' bits look quite as impressive north of the Watford Gap. That's why the Scots wear kilts:it doesn't matter.
Within an hour Stanley was dead.......................
“Poor Stanley,” Amanda thought as she dug the 6ft hole in the garden of the Post Office, “Poor Stanley.”
But “hey ho,” she told herself “another one bites the dust and besides he had his bit of Gok,”
Both Gran Broon and Amanda were back home at number 2. They sat by the open fire enjoying crumpets and butter, Gran turned to Amanda “How are you getting on with this new massage course you are doing deary?”
“Oh, not bad,” Amanda said with butter running down her mouth.
“You know, I would kill for a good rub down now, my shoulders are really stiff” Gran complained!
“Yes Mum, I would kill for one too,” Amanda replied with a glint in her eye.
At that Granpa Broon raced in from his afternoon walk. “You know there is some sort of commotion at the Post Office, ol’ Stan’s gone missing but left a pile of designer clothes on the back porch” he said breathlessly “Why would he do that?” he asked..…………
“Well he did tell me last time I saw him he was going ‘down-under’ for a holiday, sposed to be really lovely there this time of year!” Amanda mentioned. “Oh, and he did say he would leave me his ‘Gok’ clothes as a present for doing so well on my massage course”.
There was a pregnant pause for a moment, Granpa sat down, shrugged, and buttered a crumpet.
About an hour later there was a very ominous knock at the door, Granpa got up to answer it. When he opened the door two Policemen stared at him
“Does Amanda Broon reside here sir?”……………………………………
Amanda pushed her grandad out of the way when she heard Serge and Lorenzo Ashmond, the village bobbies, at the door. Although she'd been married to Richard for six years now, this was getting boring for a soap character and a relationship with a weird sexy policeman who lived over the road is overdue. Two weird sexy policemen who live over the road is a little excessive but if anyone can make this work, Amanda can.
"Gd evening Ms Broon", said the gravelly-voiced PC Lorenzo.
Amanda's lips pouted a little as she turned towards him. But then she heard his brother's breathy tones, "How are you Ms Amanda?", and her breasts visibly swelled as she stepped over Grandad to position herself to her best advantage.
"I'm fine boys" she purred as peered past them. Behind them she saw Edith Cromwell, the lesbian postmistress, staring straight at her..........