RE: love...update
hi eternal essence,
just wanted to say hi and to wish you well and i hope both your destiny leads you to the same pathway.
wishing you love and much happiness
kismet [sm=sandrine.gif]
Devastated!
OK
So he called me tonight and we talked.
Honestly... am disappointed.
Not because of the outcome, but because of how he phrased it.
I got
(a) ' I just want to **** around and am not ready to settle down
(b) All my past girlfriends have been bitches and I need that!! You are too nice and I care about you too much to hurt you!
and this was in between general chit chat.. you have to love men!
He rang just after he had read what I had sent him, so credit to him for calling but really.. after 11 years of being really good friends.. am I wrong in expecting a bit more?
Context of this is that about 14 months ago, he told me that he thought I was the one, but he didn't think he had anything to offer me - at that stage I was with someone else and was about to move abroad with work, so we talked about it a lot and decided the timing was not right...
Part of me thinks this is out of character, ie not the person I thought I knew really well. but part of me wonders if I ever really knew him at all.
He's said he wants to stay friends and would like to see me soon and can I nag him to sort that out!
I said there was nothing stopping him from coming to see me, apart from him sorting it out.
So there we have it. I do not regret doing it, but am disappointed as I expected more from him and do not know how to read the situation. and yes, am very sad at the moment as I really thought we had something special there... oh well!
Thank you all for your support...
xx
RE: Devastated!
Hey there!
really feeling for you.
I had a similar situation a few years back and i do understand - it hurts. in fact, when i think about it it still hurts now, because i didnt let it go at the time.
a couple of words of advice...
you have got it off your chest and that is a good thing.
you have managed to maintain your friendship and that is a great thing.
now you need to let it go honey.
i did not do this - i kept trying to tell myself that he would change his mind or that there was something more than he was saying, and it completely screwed me up, for want of a better phrase. not only this, but our friendship is so strained now - practically non existent in fact because of it.
I am not suggesting that there could never be more for the two of you - each situation is of course different. However, you have to leave it with him now and work on the basis that this is his final answer on the subject. if anything changes he will let you know. Don't sit pondering and fretting over why he doesn't want more - just get on with your life honey and continue to cherish your friendship.
some people, despite strong feelings are just not meant to be together. Take my word for it,if you're not carefulyou can dwell on it for years.. and literally lose those years, with no fruitful outcome at the end of it.
There's a wonderful partner out there for you i am sure, but for the new to come in you will need to let go of the old.
hope this helps.
if you wanna chat, do pm.
Love and hugs to you xxxx
RE: Devastated!
Hi
I'm really sorry to hear that things didn't turn out as you wanted, but at least the truths out now & you can move on...think of it as you've released yourself & now you're free & clear to get on with the next stage of your life!! I tottally respect you for your honesty & bravery in opening up your feelings. And it reads to me that this man doesn't want to put your friendship at risk, he's showed you so much respect by being honest with you
Love
Amy
[sm=hug.gif]
RE: Devastated!
P,
You did the right thing. You were honest and kept the flow moving instead of clinging on to a painful secret. You were courageous and you saved your friendship.
For whatever reason, it's not meant to be, or not now, but it would have been far worse to be stuck and not to know.
Big hugs to you now as you continue on into the big adventure. If you can let go of one particular dream, your hands will be free to catch so many others.
blessings on you,
BV
xx