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Picky eater - not thriving


AlisonM
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A friend is concerned about her nephew. He is nine and has never eaten properly. He is also quite sickly, being a regular at the drs surgery for colds etc.

He has been seen at the childrens hospital in Edinburgh, but apart from being told that his calcium levels are quite high, they don't seem to be able to offer the family any more support.

It's causing quite a bit of stress within the family and they are looking for some therapeutic support - family therapist, child psychologist, counsellor - to help them to deal with the problem.

The family lives in Edinburgh. Does anyone know of a therapist who specialises in childrens eating disorders in this area?

Or, has anyone had an experience of this problem and can give some guidelines on what the family needs to look for in a therapist.

Many thanks, Alison

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Lynora
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I have several contacts in Edinburgh, I'll call round and enquire.

I didn't eat until after I had German Measles aged 14! I subsisted on cornflakes, marmite sandwiches, water, apples (but only at my Gran's, and even then only peeled & sliced!) and milk at bedtime. I was skinny as a rake. Our family doctor told my Mum that she was the one with the problem - constantly at his door for every sniffle I had - making me sit at the table until I had eaten everything on the plate (never happened!). They gave up with school meals after a week of sitting at the table under the watchful glare of the dinner ladies until it was time to catch the bus home at 3.30pm! It's a wonder I didn't develop an eating disorder, but this was 1960 and I don't think bulimia or anorexia was known at that point.

His behaviour around food may be a direct link to the stress around him. Perhaps the family need to have therapy, and not him! I'll be back later if I find someone.

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AlisonM
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I have several contacts in Edinburgh, I'll call round and enquire.

I didn't eat until after I had German Measles aged 14! I subsisted on cornflakes, marmite sandwiches, water, apples (but only at my Gran's, and even then only peeled & sliced!) and milk at bedtime. I was skinny as a rake. Our family doctor told my Mum that she was the one with the problem - constantly at his door for every sniffle I had - making me sit at the table until I had eaten everything on the plate (never happened!). They gave up with school meals after a week of sitting at the table under the watchful glare of the dinner ladies until it was time to catch the bus home at 3.30pm! It's a wonder I didn't develop an eating disorder, but this was 1960 and I don't think bulimia or anorexia was known at that point.

His behaviour around food may be a direct link to the stress around him. Perhaps the family need to have therapy, and not him! I'll be back later if I find someone.

Thank you Jabba - much appreciated. Especially re your own experience.

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Oliver29
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I also think it may be a good idea for the family to simply relax and certainly there is no need to go to the doctor if he has a cold. In fact, I can recommend the book (an old classic) How to Raise a Healthy Child : In Spite of Your Doctor, which helps avoid such unnecessary visits.
And to see a child as a mirror of what is going on in the family is always a good approach.

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AlisonM
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I also think it may be a good idea for the family to simply relax and certainly there is no need to go to the doctor if he has a cold. In fact, I can recommend the book (an old classic) How to Raise a Healthy Child : In Spite of Your Doctor, which helps avoid such unnecessary visits.
And to see a child as a mirror of what is going on in the family is always a good approach.

Thank you Oliver - will pass on the recommendation re the book. I'm with you on the child as mirror as well. I don't know the family well - but it sounds as though they could benefit from some external support and are willing to participate.

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Energylz
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I was a fussy eater as a child, didn't eat any vegetables (except potatoes and raw carrots), didn't eat sausages, nor pizza, wouldn't touch school meals (my mum had to talk to the school and eventually they allowed me to take sandwiches - and other kids followed suit to do the same) etc. etc.

Even when I met my girlfriend at Uni, who is a vegetarian, I had to force myself to try some new stuff (honestly, not trying to impress her hehe! :D), but didn't really like it. Whilst I did start to eat some things like pizza and sausages over time, It wasn't until I learnt EFT (by this time I was 30+) as a practitioner and started treating others with it, that I ended up "borrowing benefits" (where you end up treating your own subconscious issues whilst going through a treatment for someone else) and suddenly I no longer had an aversion to most other foods, and just started eating them. There were even some that I had seriously hated, even the smell of, that I suddenly started to eat, though some have proven to disagree with me so I just avoid them for that reason now.

If you can find an EFT practitioner near you (there's plenty about) then that, I believe, can be very effective for treating such conditions as this (and the "issues" of the family that may be a cause of it).

All Love and Reiki Hugs

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AlisonM
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I was a fussy eater as a child, didn't eat any vegetables (except potatoes and raw carrots), didn't eat sausages, nor pizza, wouldn't touch school meals (my mum had to talk to the school and eventually they allowed me to take sandwiches - and other kids followed suit to do the same) etc. etc.

Even when I met my girlfriend at Uni, who is a vegetarian, I had to force myself to try some new stuff (honestly, not trying to impress her hehe! :D), but didn't really like it. Whilst I did start to eat some things like pizza and sausages over time, It wasn't until I learnt EFT (by this time I was 30+) as a practitioner and started treating others with it, that I ended up "borrowing benefits" (where you end up treating your own subconscious issues whilst going through a treatment for someone else) and suddenly I no longer had an aversion to most other foods, and just started eating them. There were even some that I had seriously hated, even the smell of, that I suddenly started to eat, though some have proven to disagree with me so I just avoid them for that reason now.

If you can find an EFT practitioner near you (there's plenty about) then that, I believe, can be very effective for treating such conditions as this (and the "issues" of the family that may be a cause of it).

All Love and Reiki Hugs

Thank you Giles. Another interesting story - was there any point where your family worried about your health?

The impact of EFT is very interesting - and I do know one EFT practitioner in Edinburgh.

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Energylz
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Thank you Giles. Another interesting story - was there any point where your family worried about your health?

I assume my mum was always concerned that I wasn't eating properly, and she did try and get me to eat stuff or try new stuff, but I was a stubborn little booger. I think she eventually thought I'd just grow out of it. πŸ˜‰

It wasn't that I didn't eat at all, just not necessarily the good stuff... though tomato sauce and crisp sandwiches must have been good for me surely! πŸ˜‰ Seriously though I did eat meat and roast potatoes for sunday lunch (no gravy though at that time), and fish and chips, so I was getting proteins and carbs etc. and I'm sure my mum managed to mask some foods and mix them with others I would eat.

All Love and Reiki Hugs

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VanessaH
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Hi Alison

I have two children - one who eats anything I put in front of him, and another who doesn't !!!!

My daughter has a limited (but pretty good) diet. I refuse to make an issue out of it and only feed her what she likes. No arguements, no attention around food. She eats fish fingers, raw carrots, raw peas, bread, dry cereal, red fruit, apples, crisps, plain pasta, sweets and chocolate - and that's it! One food can not touch the other food and she hates soggy food (anything with a sauce or gravy)! I give her a multi vitamin each day too.

It's a pain, but there are worse things in life. I'm hoping she will grow out of it and we encourage her to try things, with the deal that if she doesn't like it she doesn't have to eat it. This is met by 'no' 90% of the time, but did get her interested in salmon and tinned tuna for a period.

I agree with the previous advice... totally relax around food and take all expectations and judgements away. Also try and make it fun, set the plate out as a face or animal etc,(Annabel Karmel books are good for this) and get them involved in cooking too. xxx

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AlisonM
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I assume my mum was always concerned that I wasn't eating properly, and she did try and get me to eat stuff or try new stuff, but I was a stubborn little booger. I think she eventually thought I'd just grow out of it. πŸ˜‰

It wasn't that I didn't eat at all, just not necessarily the good stuff... though tomato sauce and crisp sandwiches must have been good for me surely! πŸ˜‰ Seriously though I did eat meat and roast potatoes for sunday lunch (no gravy though at that time), and fish and chips, so I was getting proteins and carbs etc. and I'm sure my mum managed to mask some foods and mix them with others I would eat.

All Love and Reiki Hugs

My youngest son was stubborn like that, eating certain foods only - and also grew out of it. It can certainly be tough on parents when their child is a fussy eater, everyone seems to think that they can give an opinion and that they 'wouldn't let their child get away with being so fussy'.

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AlisonM
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Hi Alison

I have two children - one who eats anything I put in front of him, and another who doesn't !!!!

My daughter has a limited (but pretty good) diet. I refuse to make an issue out of it and only feed her what she likes. No arguements, no attention around food. She eats fish fingers, raw carrots, raw peas, bread, dry cereal, red fruit, apples, crisps, plain pasta, sweets and chocolate - and that's it! One food can not touch the other food and she hates soggy food (anything with a sauce or gravy)! I give her a multi vitamin each day too.

It's a pain, but there are worse things in life. I'm hoping she will grow out of it and we encourage her to try things, with the deal that if she doesn't like it she doesn't have to eat it. This is met by 'no' 90% of the time, but did get her interested in salmon and tinned tuna for a period.

I agree with the previous advice... totally relax around food and take all expectations and judgements away. Also try and make it fun, set the plate out as a face or animal etc,(Annabel Karmel books are good for this) and get them involved in cooking too. xxx

Thanks Vanessa - however, I think that with this family it has become an issue already and now they would benefit from some support.

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Lynora
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Alison - I have sent you a PM.

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hom
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Hi, it's hard not to be anxious when a child doesn't eat much, even though it's surprisingly common, but especially so if he's often also unwell.
I would recommend a homeopathic appointment. Children usually respond quickly to homeopathic remedies and one or two appointments may be all that's needed to improve things. Each appt is usually about an hour and very supportive, so in itself, would also be therapeutic for the parent(s) who would have the time needed to go over their concerns. The aim is to improve the patient's health over a period of months, such that they don't need to continue with that or any other treatment, so it could be money and time well spent in the long run. HTH Hom

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AlisonM
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Hi, it's hard not to be anxious when a child doesn't eat much, even though it's surprisingly common, but especially so if he's often also unwell.
I would recommend a homeopathic appointment. Children usually respond quickly to homeopathic remedies and one or two appointments may be all that's needed to improve things. Each appt is usually about an hour and very supportive, so in itself, would also be therapeutic for the parent(s) who would have the time needed to go over their concerns. The aim is to improve the patient's health over a period of months, such that they don't need to continue with that or any other treatment, so it could be money and time well spent in the long run. HTH Hom

That all makes sense, Hom. Thank you for your input. I had all of my children at homeopaths at one point or another after their Dad died and it was very helpful.

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kasian
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, I would always use EFT first - it tends to work really, really well for most specific phobias for most people - and children are especially good with it, it tends to work really fast with them.
Tapping bears are a great thing for kids too.

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Maya
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In homeopathy, Silica is a remedy for failure to thrive and works with the calciums in the body to help them to work and be distrubuted, though I would really recommend that she takes him to a Homeopath for a proper consultation.

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New Age London
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I also recommend EFT. Used it on kids that were hardly eating, worked in 1-2 sessions. A god EFT practitioner will make it so much fun to do the session, the kid will live it.

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