Hi
my son is 10, he has always been very bright but a little bit odd (eccentric you could say....but i have never been that worried). For the past year he has stopped thriving at school, and because of this, we have had to have several 'talks' with him about the importance of education etc. On the whole my son is a sweet boy who is not overly naughty, but long story short is that I feel my son suffers from some sort of disorder. He;
does not like making eye contact (though he will when we tell him to but gaze always falls)
He does not know how to make friends and is always on the outskirts of groups.
When being told off for 'lying' etc he does not see the cause/effect he just wishes the talking would stop
He does not feel guilt or empathy
He does not have any motivation to do well or please others but wants/expects you to please him
He does not see why he should compete with his peers, he expects he should just know things (almost by osmosis!)
He has a broad vocab but uses the most strange 1950's language that sets him apart from peers (e.g rather than saying are we having dinner he may say shall we have some refreshment)
After being told off he does not sulk or display behaviour that would show that he is contrite, he acts as if nothing has happened
He has no empathy for others feelings, if he starts a game and starts to lose he will simply walk away even though the other person wants to play.
He speaks about 'facts' (lets say plane or train stats) as if he knows them, but a bit of digging will show they are completely made up
He will have a conversation with you, or rather at you, he does not take any cues from you as to whether you are engaged or not.
He cannot seem to give a straight forward answer to a question. nor can he articulate how he feels
He goes through spates of making innappropriate/wierd noises, and does this at school so peers make fun of him.
He hates loud sudden noises (such as hand driers in the loo)
He has a incredably low attention span and gives up on any task easily
I could go on and on but think someone may have an opinion on what I have provided.
Please let me know what you think. sorry for the typos!
Thanks
Hi sarahpp and welcome to healthypages,
To me, and please bear in mind i'm not a medical professional, that the symptoms you list suggest Asperger's syndrome, which is a form of Autism. I would advise you to print off what you have listed here, and make an appointment with your doctor asking for his opinion and referral if need be to test for this.:)
warmest wishes- calla lily x
Hi Sarah,
Please avoid the Dr. at all costs. Please have a look at www.metagifted.org
Love
Rebecca xx P.S Ooops sorry welcome to HP XX
thank you xx
Hello and welcome to the forum Sarah. 🙂
I agree with Calla Lily.
From my personal experience of knowing & working (though not professionally) with children with very similar behaviours, it does sound as if your son is displaying classic signs of Asperger's Syndrome.
The good news is that once he gets a diagnosis & is 'statemented' as having special needs, there is an increasing amount of help nowadays; both with general behaviour (adapting to & fitting in with others) and education - to suit individual abilities, interests & needs.
Best wishes to you & your son for tackling the situation! There is hope ahead.
Hi Sarah
Just wanted to say from my experience (I'm not a doctor so please take with a pinch of salt) this sounds very much like Asperger's syndrome behaviours. I just wanted to add, whatever the outcome or diagnosis, it is definitely not the end of the world and nobody is to blame. I have a friend with Aspergers and whilst he can be a little socially awkward, he is a really lovely guy, a very talented musician and a great writer with plenty of friends who support him regardless.
I would go to a doctor, as without a diagnosis the help he may need would not be made available to him. The doctor should be able to give you options as to what you can do to help your son. If anything the doctor says sits uncomfortably with you, seek a second medical opinion.
Hi Sarah,
Please avoid the Dr. at all costs. Please have a look at www.metagifted.org
Love
Rebecca xx P.S Ooops sorry welcome to HP XX
My thoughts exactly beckyboop and as I was reading Sarah's post I was saying "sounds like an indigo child to me".
Would recommend you research indigo children and also take a look at Indigo Essences, which were made with the help of children for children who are very sensitive. Helps balance their emotions and helps them cope a little better.
Thank you for posting Rosi it can be a lonely and often sad life when we believe such things, I would hate the little mite to go to the Dr. who will stick a label on him while writing out a prescription, better that he is honoured as the unique and special little soul he is and to hell what others think of his behaviour it's not as though he is harming anybody. The child sounds charming and delightful.
Love
Rebecca xx
I had my son tested for Asperger's a few months ago, where personally i think it depends on how understanding and aware the doctor is. Fortunately, mine was ( although had a dig at the internet!) and the whole procedure involved a referral to a paediatrician, speech therapist and clinical psychologist. The last two conducted a verbal test ( nothing stressful, mainly distinctions between similiar sounding words and 'odd one out' etc) and questionnaires, again very easy to answer (scale of 0-3 in terms of how frequently he did things).
While the results were inconclusive of Asperger's, it did reveal something else where i am glad i went through the medical route because my son is of GCSE age and the reports will help him get academic support should he go to college. It's also peace of mind too. 🙂
warmest wishes- calla lily x
Sounds like a fairly typical (if old-fashioned) 10 year old boy to me! You don't have an older daughter do you? Just wondering as all three of my friend's boys were like that, except only 2 had little interest in making friends. She thought they were a bit odd but it turned out she was expecting them to behave like girls!
Hi sarahpp...welcome to hp........:wave:
Hi sarahpp, from reading your post I thought you were describing my son! Well most of it anyway. We had him assessed and are still attending a clinical psychologist. He ticks many box's but not all in the same category. Therefore no real diagnosis has been produced. I am glad of this as I now feel that once we heard fro the professionals that there was something there it has changed our whole way of managing him and his behaviour. He is a fantastic little chap and now I think we understand him and his frustrations more. socially he is weak and does not have the concept of friendship forming or loyality but now we can work with him on this. Before you go down the road of diagnosis consider the impact of a label. I work in this area and See the negative consequences of labeling. If he can manage academically his school may be better not knowing anything. Sometimes it is enough to tell them you are in the process but tell them only what they need to know. Regarding school and his concentration I have a few techniques that I change to break the boredom setting in but constant stimulation is important and his teacher needs to be aware of this. Music is also greatly benefiticial. Hope this helps.
Sounds exactly like a 'contemporary kid' lol!
better that he is honoured as the unique and special little soul he is and to hell what others think of his behaviour it's not as though he is harming anybody. The child sounds charming and delightful.
Smile... have to go with this one. He sounds quite bright! And I gather he's not into playing any mental or emotional 'games' either. Can't make this one 'feel' guilty. It's not in his genetic makeup.
It must be perplexing for us to understand a child that is 'multidimensionally tuned in' if we observe that from a dualistic point of view.
It must also be perplexing for a child who thinks expansionally to make sense of the world in a linear box and label fashion. Try being born 9D and having to live in and interpret a world where everyone else is 2D. 😀
Just love them.
BRose
hello
I dont know much about this type of behaviour myself, but I did go to this amazing talk by Pam Sicklemore. She was talking about the varying degrees of the autistic spectrum. She does offer support to parents on the phone and had some handouts.
This is her website - hope it is a help
http://www.autismtraining.net/
remember that there is a spectrum ranging from a small amount of showing signs through to full on condition!
This is for anything - so someone can be boardering - they display signs on a condition...
We don't all fit in - we don't 'tick' all the boxes - this doesn't mean we are not affected by some form of condition
I was told my daughter was a borderline ADHD - as she has grown she displays less and less of the tendancies...
Good luck - I hope you find an answer