Hi all, not sure how to convey this but hopefully I will get across what I mean.
I remember starting my primary school and walking in the BIG school gates, saying goodbye to my mother and full of confidence, proud of what I was wearing and really looking forward to what was ahead of me.
I loved my first years, picking out what I wanted to play with, chatting to who I wanted to and JUST BEING ME.
As the years progressed I knew who I was, I knew what I liked and did not like, had my own opinions etc.This was real life and simple things were enjoyable, they were REAL.
Now in my latter years, I do not know what I really like,I mean NOT REALLY, I am easily persuaded, I see people having different views on differen things BUT I really do not know what my opinion is, I can just go with the flow for an easy life.I want to have opinions, I want my life back, I want to know who the REAL me is again, how did this happen?
At that stage, the naturalness of your being was mostly untouched by hypnotism of society. That was you, so you think, even at that stage there was some acquired stuff in your being.
The word personality comes from persona- a masque. As the baby grows to become a child the masque begins to appear. It gets more solid as one grows. The real face is covered over by constant reinforcement of your name and thousand other things
So the one who was divine and nothing else, is gradually hypnotised to become human.
The unreal is put on layer by layer and the real is covered up good and proper.
But the ache (which is clear in your post) to get the real back becomes intense as one progresses.
False cannot substitute the real.
Your real self is before personality arrived. It is faceless, unnamed, beyond labels, before birth, after death. The real you never was born never dies.
You want it back. That is very good news. It is not lost. It never is. It is just underneath the layers of knowlege, concepts, wisdom, knowings.
It is very immediate really, but we think...so it remains hidden
Hi all, not sure how to convey this but hopefully I will get across what I mean.
I remember starting my primary school and walking in the BIG school gates, saying goodbye to my mother and full of confidence, proud of what I was wearing and really looking forward to what was ahead of me.
I loved my first years, picking out what I wanted to play with, chatting to who I wanted to and JUST BEING ME.
As the years progressed I knew who I was, I knew what I liked and did not like, had my own opinions etc.This was real life and simple things were enjoyable, they were REAL.
Now in my latter years, I do not know what I really like,I mean NOT REALLY, I am easily persuaded, I see people having different views on differen things BUT I really do not know what my opinion is, I can just go with the flow for an easy life.I want to have opinions, I want my life back, I want to know who the REAL me is again, how did this happen?
I felt like this,, sstill do but i am working with it..
i call it my mid life crisis.
I started by writing down all the things i wanted to be/do as a kid..and i wrote what i want/need now..somewhere in the middle i began to see which was me and which was the influenced me (by society family friends etc)
I wrote a list of little things to do, simple things i had put off.
I wrote about the people in my life and how i truly felt.
the changes in my body/mind and the ageing process have affected me deeply and i am working on that..the thing is once my own thoughts opinions come to the fore i see myself more clearly and its scarey...i am still working on it..i feel i have been in a dream for a while, a long while, the baby/ young child years of my own children and then suddenly to look at myself..when i did i didnt like what i saw..
I think I will be on this journey for a while yet, its a massive learning curve and one that is pulling me back to my true self..i feel.
Hi Star99
What you're describing is a very natural part of self-development that Jung called individuation, and that many others called a mid-life crisis (which can happen before and after mid-life!). It is extremely common among the people who come to me for intuition consultations.
When we are young we are our own wild, true, authentic self. Yet we are here to learn, and we become immersed in the sea of humanity's emotions. We become flooded with experiences, sensations, emotions, impressions... and at exactly the right moment for each of us, we begin to integrate our lifetime knowledge with our authentic self: we bring our human experience to our soul.
It may, and does, feel uncomfortable, but it's a good and natural thing - part of being alive. Enjoy it, embrace it, love the feeling that you are becoming whole again. Make your intuition your friend, and it will help you to steer unerringly through to happier times.
Thanks for the replies, its not a nice place to be and in the last 24 hours ish I feel like a veil has been lifted and I feel like all these therapies I have been doing are a dream, like the past three or four years even have been one big dream, I am now loosing interest in all I have accomplished, don't want to do this anymore, am bored, am lost, Im not in a happy place right now
Hi, Star - sorry haven't replied sooner but for the last week I have felt as I've my life was falling apart.
I felt as if your post could have been written by me.
I don't have any advice to give - I too feel that I've lost all interest.
I have kept on thinking that eventually all this seeking will have been worth it - but now think I have only been kidding myself.
I know this is not a very positive post but you have helped me in the past & I wanted you to know I am thinking of you
Hi, Star - sorry haven't replied sooner but for the last week I have felt as I've my life was falling apart.
I felt as if your post could have been written by me.
I don't have any advice to give - I too feel that I've lost all interest.
I have kept on thinking that eventually all this seeking will have been worth it - but now think I have only been kidding myself.
I know this is not a very positive post but you have helped me in the past & I wanted you to know I am thinking of you
Take care,
Yvonne xxx
Ah thanks Yvonne, that post means alot to me, YES I feel lost too, I just want someone to tell me that this is 'temporary' and its worth it,
Lightworkers... As you may already know, a very important Cosmic Moment is coming up November 11,2011. (11-11-11)This is one of the reasons that we, the Lightworkers are here...to herald in this very important moment! This mass, focused, collective, energetic push of Light will move us right along, on the path to our Ascension. At this moment, many will become Enlightened. It's important that we start thinking about this now, so that we are well rooted in our focus of standing strong in our Light for this event. Unfortunately, some people may get caught up in the fear trap, for there are those who are trying to fight against our advancement.The ones who do not want us to Ascend will try to create something big to scare us, to take our focus away from bringing in the Light. Their tricks will not succeed, because they have no idea how strong our Light has become. While they no longer have power over us, we still have to keep our focus. It's up to us to Light the path for others who need our help. That's one of our missions! So whether you will be doing this alone or with a group, it doesn't matter. What is important is that you are ready, and that you do it! There will be many opportunities for accelerated spiritual growth between this Cosmic Moment and the next, which is December 21, 2012. Onward and upward Lightworkers!!
Hi Star I came across an article in the Therapist magasine that is sent out from the Reiki Federation which really resonates witth your original post. I will try and post it off to you this week.
Linda
Hi Star I came across an article in the Therapist magasine that is sent out from the Reiki Federation which really resonates witth your original post. I will try and post it off to you this week.
Linda
Thanks Linda, much appreciated, I am now feeling that this was meant to happen, if you know what I mean
Gaia Holistix A Gaia-Now transformational healing and personal development practice. Gaia-Now School A new introductory workshop is available for 2012 - Practitioners classes expected late spring 2012.
Thanks for the replies, its not a nice place to be and in the last 24 hours ish I feel like a veil has been lifted and I feel like all these therapies I have been doing are a dream, like the past three or four years even have been one big dream, I am now loosing interest in all I have accomplished, don't want to do this anymore, am bored, am lost, Im not in a happy place right now
Wow, that is true, all those therapies keep you fixing yourself, nothing but a dream. You are already the perfection, just need to wake up to that. You think it is a terrible place. I tell you it is a jumping board to Grace. You don't see this yet but it is a let go happening. You G(o)od is coming. Its all soo good.
... I feel like all these therapies I have been doing are a dream, like the past three or four years even have been one big dream, I am now loosing interest in all I have accomplished, don't want to do this anymore, am bored, am lost, Im not in a happy place right now
Hi Star
You'll be fine! and the therapies will come into their own in due course. Anticipate the next step with Love and all will be well.
I think many wise Individuals will say and have said that you need to lose yourself In order to find your self . Jesus and Ghandi I recall have made similar statements .
At some stage of life (perhaps for all) One will lose their Identity In relation to self and to life / the world around us . So many questions as to why Is this so, and why Is that so .
This leads on to self enquiry for many .
All Is good as they say "even feeling lost to the world" .
Lightworkers... As you may already know, a very important Cosmic Moment is coming up November 11,2011. (11-11-11) upward Lightworkers!!
Oh thanks for this Star99, I am having a Holistic Therapy Share night on 11/11/11 with a few other local HPers. We will see what we can do about this on the night, suggestions appreciated.
Done some more soul searching today and the following is what I am doing at the moment, am sharing it as it may help others also
1. Spend some time pondering something you see in another that you would like to have or experience. Maybe there is something you want in your life; such as, a relationship, financial security, a job you love, or meaningful things to do in your free time. Who do you know who has what you want? Next write about this, expressing such things as your beliefs, feelings, and experiences that have or currently influences you. Now read or discuss what you have written with someone you trust. Ask your friend for feedback. Continue to write about this subject for as long as it takes to process your thoughts and feelings, those that get in the way, as well as new ones you have updated from faulty thinking. This begins the process of taking steps to claim your potential, that which you see in others.
2. Following is a guided meditation to help you integrate repressed parts of yourself into your present self. You can ask a friend to read it to you or record the meditation to play for yourself. There is really not a set way you must do this. It could even be done while out walking or watching a sunset, simply remember the theme of the meditation. Many of you will begin making inner shifts just reading this.
Whenever you feel dissatisfied with your life, get triggered by someone or something, or feel the creative pull to be who you are without illusions, repeat this meditation. It can help you find the lost parts of your true self. Meditation: Close your eyes and slowly deep breathe several times. (Pause.)
Go to your place of peace, where you feel safe and secure.
(Pause.)
Take a moment to see and feel “something” you want in your life.
(Pause.)
Who do you know who is already manifesting what you want? In your mind’s eye, watch this person and view how s/he models it to you in your outer world.
(Pause.)
If you are releasing something that is no longer serves your, see yourself giving it back to the person who allowed you to act it out for her/him.
(Pause.)
Ask your wise Self to help you reclaim this as a part of you. If another has been acting it out for you in a close relationship, ask for your part back. With deep feeling, visualize yourself with this trait or experience. Use all your senses to be in this reality.
(Pause.)
Say to yourself, “I now claim (whatever you chose) as part of my life. I deserve (your choice) in my life and choose to grow comfortable with it. I release all need to turn my power over by projecting it outside of myself. I easily take the risks to claim what is mine as I integrate (your choice) into my everyday life. I feel this deeply and allow this transformation within to take place now. Continue talking to yourself in this way for a few minutes.
(Pause.)See and feel this new reality as if it is true and already a part of your life. (Pause.)
Ask for a symbol to represent what you have reclaimed into your life. If a symbol does not come easily, know you will find one in the next few days, probably when you least expect it. It is okay to use your logical mind too in choosing a symbol.
(Pause.)
Play with this symbol. Hold it, draw it, and sleep with it. Allow your symbol to help you reclaim a part of your true self.
(Pause.)It is time to come back. Feel your body and focus on your natural breathing. (Pause.)
Slowly open your eyes and move and stretch. Be here now.
Now you have a better picture of what projection is and how it is a useful construct to help you find and reclaim lost parts of yourself. The two suggestions are designed to help you steer through the illusions of who you are not and to help you remember your true self.
Do let me know if anyone does it and how you get on </SPAN>
This is going to sound strange but I now feel I have left this world, I am here in body form for those who need me but in REALITY I am no longer here, I feel I am above this earth and looking down on all, the strange feelings have been creeping up on me for a few weeks and NOW I feel I am not really here but have more than a leg in the spiritual world,I am half way through my book and Know it will be finished in divine timimg but the second part of the book is from the other side, a help for those still here, my spiritual family are with me now and it feels right.I am guided to act as normal as possible, until my soul transends further, which is not in my control.
Hi all, Today I feel like I am loosing my mind, I did lots of ME time at the weekend and it seems that, even though things have started happening to me for a while I remember one client in particular and while treating her i had a surge of heat flow down my right leg and to be honest I really think now that something happened to me there.Its so hard to explain, I do go within as that is where the real power is but I am asking you guys to send me some healing, Reiki, prayers etc because, even though I know I am going through it and the energies around at the moment are preparing us I feel so low its unbearable today.
Please dont slate me for saying about the experiment with the client but I think this was something that should not have happened, its like someone is telling me to clear this from me, whatever it was
I am emotionally drained and cannot sum up the energy to work on myself today so please any kind of healing would be so much appreciated
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