Coaching at work

[Elodie]

Hi HP People

A query (which may meander a bit ) about life-coaching which I'm hoping for some perspectives on.

I've been offered an opportunity through work to have coaching from an executive coach. This sounded like a great idea in theory, but we had our first meeting today, and now I'm not sure if I want to take the offer up, or the terms I'd like to make in order to make use of it.

There was nothing particularly about him, and he said at the top of the meeting that we (it was myself and a colleague) may feel that he wasn't the right person for us to work with, and that was fine. The issues I wanted support with were those around negotiation, getting 'buy-in' from others, and assertiveness. In my mind, these things were fairly straightforward, as I (believe myself to be anyway) fairly self aware and can spot recurring themes and patterns in my working life.

My colleague then started talking about team development, and how it would be useful to her to have an idea of the theories and models on styles of communication (VAK), and personality tools such as Kiersey and MBTI (we use MBTI in my workplace, and while I think it's useful, any over application usually means someone being neatly parceled up in their type box).

At this point, I completely switched off from the idea, and became an observer to the conversation. My colleague was by then really into the concept of knowing her team's communication style so she could adapt her style accordingly, being aware of her team's learning style, so she could break tasks down, and so on. This type of detail, and structured approach to people, actual human beings, drives me absolutely bonkers. And the idea of having to adapt my style? I think not, I'd much prefer to have confidence in who I am, as I am, and be genuine, and hope that others can respond authentically to that. And if they can't, they can't.

I feel thoroughly ungrateful for feeling like this, as this is free, and a good development opportunity. I also did not want in this first meeting to say that I was not interested in the areas my colleague wanted to explore, as she had become so animated about it, I didn't want to interrupt her flow. I suppose being as I've mentioned assertiveness, the question I need to ask myself is why didn't I just say "Personally, I would find it more useful to......." Why did I feel as if once the conversation had gone a particular route, I no longer had any right to set my own agenda?

Actually, writing this am beginning to see the possible benefits - maybe my first task is to go back and set my stall out, and rather than agree to joint coaching sessions (this is how the conversation ended - with my colleague very keen on the idea), say that I would feel more comfortable initially doing this on a one to one, and as things progress seeing how this new learning could be applied to our respective team situations.

Any thoughts, observations, pithy comments would be most welcome, and would also be interested to hear how others have benefited from coaching at work - either in a team or one to one setting.

Best

El

[ClaireP]

HI
As a Coach I place the importance of my coaching on and I quote you here " I'd much prefer to have confidence in who I am, as I am, and be genuine, and hope that others can respond authentically to that. And if they can't, they can't. "

End of story.

You have every right to ask for the kind of coaching you require and if this particular coach's approach doesn't suit you then so be it.
The fact that it is free doesn't really matter here - say you go for some coaching with this chap and you don't enjoy it and it doesn't help you. How important will the fact that it was FREE be ?
The most important thing is to follow your intuition.

Let me know what you decide to do?