How Do You Make Life Decisions?

[TheBattle2009]

Hi All, Happy New Year 2011!!


I have made a New Years resolution:


To make a life decision, stick with it and work towards completing it however big or small the life decision is but a part of me just says what if it goes horribly wrong I am the one who is going to suffer but saying that I could suffer anyway if I do not do anything about my life decisions in general. So how can I go about doing it?

I ask this as I have been seeing a Cognitive Behavioural Therapist for over a year now and I am still at a similar stage as I was when I first started the sessions and I saw a Life Coach for a month but had to give that up because I was and am not able to make life decisions, what is wrong with me??


Kind Regards,


TheBattle2009

[Paul Crick]

In order to make a positive life enhancing life choice, you need to remove or heal the inner conflict which is stopping you form achieving this, if the person who is treating you at the moment is not steering you in this direction, then you need to see someone who can help you sort out your internal arguments.

[TheBattle2009]

Thanks Paul Crick for replying to my thread very much appreciated. I do have High Anxiety and Depression healing or removing it will be a mammoth of a task to do especially as I live in the middle of a war zone so to speak. I personally think my CBT Therapist is scared to challenge my Anxiety and Depression well that’s what my intuition is telling me.

I do seem to be cursed when searching and asking for help because as soon as I do something always goes wrong e.g. they are not qualified to that extent to deal with my situations, if I was to seek help from the NHS it could take six months to be able to see a psychiatrist, psychologist or receive other help from them or I am unable to make changes because of my high anxiety so I lose either way and I am starting to give up as there is no help available to me.

Maybe I was meant to live a non-existent life so when my grandparents die I will have to just live on the streets and beg for money I wonder if people still like watching people do the moon walk? lol!:-)

[jnani]

Hi The Battle
A year in therapy and you are where you started, shoot the therapist! I mean change the therapy! or better still go beyond the merry go round of therapies all together! Yes it is not only possible, it is easier and fun
You ask what is wrong with you? Right decisions are made when you are clear and together within. Now that does not mean that makes one 'right' and when there is no clarity that does not mean one becomes 'wrong'. It just feels good because flow feels good. Flow is always available, you can choose to jump in. Then the decisions make you( The perfection within takes over) You are made of the stuff beyond good and bad, right and wrong, happy or unhappy etc etc

Stop feeling bad about broken resolutions, aims, goals, just allow yourself to live naturally and effortlerssly. In this moment here now. You are complete already. Your core is always at peace, although mind veils it very well!
Wishing you peace and ease in the new year
Hugs
Ruby

[Paul Crick]

You do not have high anxiety or depression, they are symptoms or manifestations of your current way of being, they are manifesting to alert you that all is not well within the levels of your existence.

This all started with a self limiting thought or a train of thoughts and it or they will be resolved when you or someone helps you to address and transform that self limiting thought or train of thoughts which is affecting your core essence of being.

Think of it like a car, you have inadvertently misaligned the gear selector, you plan to start a fresh journey which will make you happy, so you sit in the driving seat, start the car and you put it into gear with the best of intentions and let out the clutch, hit the accelerator, but all that happens is you rev the car and your intended journey is going nowhere.

You have to go back, acknowledge and take responsibility for the self limiting thoughts which you internalised so they can be transformed, this will fix the underlying negative problem so you can then move positively forward and achieve your goals.

[CarolineN]

Hi there

Not a nice place to be in, but it is definitely not the end of the world!! When on is on 'boggy ground' it is always difficult to know where to step next to avoid sinking, so staying where you are is easier than moving, and hence decisions become a BIG problem.

Might I suggest EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique)? There is an enormous amount to read here and use the search engine to find any similar problems to your own. There is a basic manual and videos available. I know I keep banging on about it, but it truly is an excellent form of therapy, one that is said to be much quicker in resolving problems than CBT, dealing gently with the root emotional causes of depression and anxiety. If you are aware of any serious trauma I would suggest a therapist of some experience of this type of work. It is also possible to work with it over the phone, reducing the necessity of travelling to find the best therapist. To find a therapist look here, here or here. Once the ifs and buts are sorted out then decisions should no longer be a problem.

Wishing you all the best

[Natalie Dee]

So, more than another year has passed since you wrote this post and got some excellent and very appropriate replies (IMHO).

Has anything changed for you since then?

Have you found a different, a better, a more effective approach?

Change can and does happen, I've seen this myself, in my work with my clients over many years - using a variety of methods, including CBT, EFT, life coaching and others. What I have noticed is that sometimes this change can be gradual, and not so obvious, and sometimes it only happens "when the time is right".

I love the old adage: "when the student is ready the teacher appears" and have seen this happen to me and to people around me; call it "coincidence" or "timing".

Would love to hear where you're at right now and if you've noticed anything change naturally with time and experience, as well as via any resources or techniques, life coaching or others, that you may have chosen to use.

All the best,